Brititure Literature
Jun 08 06 | 8:29 pm
Today, I will enlighten you with this letter I just mailed ot Jon Stewart. If you are confused why I would mail a celebrity a letter, read. The only address I could find was the studio address, so we’ll see if this works. If nothing else, I hope it entertains you.
Dear Jon Stewart,
You are pretty cool. Ice cream is pretty cool. I am pretty cool. That is why when I was quoted talking about you and ice cream in this month’s issue of Cosmo Girl, it was basically the single largest concentration of coolness in the entire magazine. That’s saying a lot, considering how many tweens (technically, that word is “cool” right now) read it.
The segment asked “If you could be any celebrity, who would you be?” I responded with the only logical answer by saying I would want to be you, because you get to interview famous and influential people, and then completely not take the interview seriously and just ask them things like what their favorite flavor of ice cream is. Your job is most envious, but you obviously are well qualified for it. I’m pretty sure they were going for “I would be Tom Cruise because he is hot and I would get all the ladies.” So I managed to subvert their goal by subtly inserting ice cream. You would be surprised how many things can be subverted by subtly inserting ice cream. I also apologize for the horrendous quality of the photograph Cosmo Girl chose to print of you. It would have been a lot better if someone subtly inserted ice cream into it.
Essentially, I propose a trade. I am sending you this autographed copy of the Cosmo Girl article in hopes that you will send me back some sort of autographed Jon Stewart memorabilia. I hear you can get a lot for used chewing gum on eBay, but that is kind of hard to sign. I would settle for something more traditional.
I really enjoy your show, and I hope you keep doing it for a long time in the future. It takes both intelligence and guts to produce such an effectively satiric show as yours. Thank you, and keep up the good work.
-Greg (now 18)
South Windsor, CT
We can only hope that this actually gets to Jon Stewart.
Comment by pelan — Jun 08 06 | 8:34 pm
[…] Through time, Greg’s interests have shifted. First it was trains, then Power Rangers, and ultimately foxes. He goes to Cape Cod every year, where he defiantly tries to teach the ocean who is boss on his boogie board. That works out better sometimes than others. He is fascinated by communication and the Internet. Being a gigantic math geek, his website is twoplustwoequalsfive.com. He has been featured in the pages of such prestigeous publications as the South Windsor High School Southwinds and Cosmo Girl. Unsatisfied with the lack of clubs with names that were recursive acronyms, backronyms, or whose focus was Dance Dance Revolution, he helped create DISCO (DISCO Is a Sweet Club at Olin), Olin College’s DDR club. When not taking photos that can be fixed in Photoshop later anyways or eating vanilla/chocolate twist soft serve ice cream, Greg likes to read the Internet (usually he gets through the whole thing once or a twice a week, but it’s the sort of thing where you find you new layers of meaning each time). […]
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