twoplustwoequalsblog

Dear Pluto,

So you’re not a planet anymore. Get over it. You never were really anything that interesting. It was sort of cool back in 1994 when you and Neptune crossed orbits and technically you were closer to the sun, but that was a lame parlor trick; no real planet would stoop that low.

See here’s the good thing: if you and Charon had been both classified as ‘plutoids’, then your little relationship would have suddenly been frowned upon by a lot of conservative scientists. This way, you two get to keep that bi-planet system thing you have going on and no one will think twice.

Look, as a consolation prize, why don’t you have some sports beans and stop complaining. Maybe you can use the energy burst to become a real planet, or something.

Sincerely,
Greg “Not a Planet, Either” Marra