twoplustwoequalsblog

Today Ellen and I drove down to Cedar Point in Ohio, which is among the largest amusement parks in America. They feature 17 roller coasters, of which 10 we rode. We were literally three trains from getting on their newest coaster (featuring magnetic lift hill!) when it started thunderstorming and all of the rides shut down. We went and played in the arcade when this happened. The arcade featured the most confused South Park table ever, as it had too many balls and didn’t keep track of them well.

Ohio
Ohio is a desolate wasteland filled only by trucks, truck service plazas, industrial plants that load trucks, toll plazas in the middle of nowhere, and Cedar Point. Their rest plazas have more employees than patrons at dinnertime, and people on talk radio are religious conservatives. This is my sweeping generalization of Ohio, and may or may not be true. Carryover sweeping generalization of Cleveland, Ohio: Cleveland is the windiest city on Earth, since it was windy that one time I went.

Bad Fashion
There is a new style in town. Evidently Abercrombie has made hideously plaid shorts popular. While at Cedar Point, Ellen and I counted no less than 100 pairs of these shorts on hip teens’ teen hips. They look like something leftover from the 1960s. I don’t understand this fashion one bit. It was OK when Melough had a pair of them back in January, because no one else did and he tends to wear odd clothing anyway. But when preppily dressed guys and girls are rocking the ugliest leg covering devices I have ever seen in my life right below their $60 Hollister polo, you know something is up.

We must stop it.

Roller Coasters
Ones that don’t hit your head around a lot and are smooth are better.